OK so 2nd date with the French guy. We went for lunch, he was nice enough. I was starting to like him but I could see he obviously only wanted sex. I could remember flashbacks of this happening to me last summer, but I allowed my horniness to get the better of me.
We had enjoyed a lot of sexy chats online and texts, so in person he was flirting like mad. Being a single gal is just frustrating sometimes, eventually I thought fuck it and I agreed to go back to his house.
He was a big talker and I expected amazing sex. It was OK at most. Afterwards I felt really dirty and slutty because I am used to being in a long term relationship. Dating is so confusing. I shouldn't have given in like that again, but at the time it is like my logical sense switches off. I used him as much as he used me. I didn't even stay after, I left pretty much straight away. I didn't ask him to call me or whatever, it seems like that would be fake intimacy.
I have still been thinking about him but I know he is not gonna contact me again. It is kind of sad in a way. I really don't wanna do this again cause in my mind I want love and not just sex.
It's hard for a girl to do casual sex, well for me anyway. I seem to get too attached, and feel like I have no self-worth after. I read lots of dating guides online, rules and rituals. Does anyone remember them or know what they are? It seems if you feel a certain way, you should act the opposite?
Like if you like him, you should act like you don't - give them distance, that is what keeps them interested!
Whatever, I am done searching for now.
Gonna focus on my new job and keep my legs firmly CROSSED!
